Are We Exhausted?

Emotional Exhaustion is real and we need to learn to identify it.

Hey!
And I’m back after a short break from writing (read it as lack of motivation)… It sounds pretty bad, I agree. But here’s the thing, you ought to blame the Pandemic.
I mean the kind of uncertainty and prolonged doom that this has caused and is continuing to; that’s taxing.

While I was away liking my sorrows and venting away I realised that I’m constantly exhausted. The physical exhaustion has been pretty easy. If I feel tired, I plan my day in such a way that I can get away with a power nap or a stress relieving soak.
What’s been difficult is when you’ve to adequate sleep and nutrition with not a very intense day and yet you feel worn out by the end of each day.
I mean, c’mon!
How does that even make sense??

Post a whole lot of speculation, agitated evenings, grumpy mornings and un-willing days I realised it was nothing but my emotions that were tired of keeping up with the surroundings.
Then came the BIG QUESTION: As a psychologist how could i have missed the signs myself??

Just knowing the cause of my discomfort seemed to have eased most of my nerves and filled me with an excitement to find a checklist that would help me avoid all the helplessness that had enveloped me these last few weeks.

17 SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL EXHAUSTION :

  • You find yourself focusing on the negatives
  • You put people away (isolate)
  • Your every action feels like a sacrifice
  • You feel driven by obligations not values
  • You don’t feel fulfilled
  • You don’t feel connected with who you are
  • You have a hard time controlling your behaviour
  • You feel overwhelmed and anxious
  • You have a hard time maintaining or setting boundaries
  • You often feel irritated and irrationally angry
  • You feel hopeless
  • You feel numb or apathetic
  • You lack motivation or purpose
  • Your self-identify as a failure
  • You often feel tired
  • You find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention
  • You find yourself forgetting things

This list was given by Sara Kuburic (MA, CCC).

Once I found this list I decided to make a list of ways in which I could recover from this exhaustion. While I’m sharing mine, I request you to make your own on a sunny day so that rainy days aren’t as grey!

  • Sit down with myself and acknowledge how I’m feeling (you don’t have to justify your feelings; just acknowledge them)
  • Make a quick list of 5 things that you are grateful for and feel lucky about
  • Have a list of people who always lift you up and connect with them
  • Reconnect with yourself- the things that you value and the principles that you hold closest
  • Make a list of activities that you could practice for yourself and enjoy it (cook, garden, paint, practice yoga, dance, listen to music, read a book, etc)
  • Focus on your physical well-being; adequate amount of sleep, having your meals at appropriate times, consuming unto 3 litres of water
  • Distance yourself from social media for minimum 3 days
  • Consider a massage or long bath or a session of meditation

Magical Words

A compilation of words, thoughts and teachings that have strengthen, supported and confronted me as and when I needed them.

Hello, you lovely soul!!
What I’ve put together this time is more like a compilation.
A compilation of words, thoughts and teachings that have strengthen, supported and confronted me as and when I needed them. They have contributed to my moral fabric from time to time. And trust me, each time I’ve felt myself become a better person in that moment.
As a sucker for words, these were never said by me or to me unfortunately, but nonetheless they have held my hand and taught me to smile and lightened those stiff shoulders!

“I LOVE YOU means I accept you for the person that you are and that I don’t wish to change you into someone else. It means that I don’t expect perfection from you, just as you don’t expect it from me.
I Love You means that I will Love You and stand by you even through the worst of times.
It means loving you when you are in a bad mood or too tired to do the things that I want to do.
It means loving you when you are down, not just when you are fun to be with.”

Deanne Laura Gilbert

Be Brave. Take Risks.
Nothing can substitute experience.

Paulo Coelho

I’m slowly learning that even if I react, it won’t change anything, it won’t make people love and respect me, it won’t magically change their minds. Sometimes it’s better to just let things be, let people go, don’t expect answers, don’t fight for closure, don’t chase answers and don’t expect people to understand where you’re coming from. I’m slowly learning that life is better lived when you don’t centre it on what’s happening around you and centre it on what’s happening inside you instead. Work on yourself and your inner peace.

Unknown Author

I cannot fix on an hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It was too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.

Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)

Save money every week! It doesn’t matter how much. Just Save.
Listen to your parents’ advice… at the end of the day they are only ones who want the best for you.
Choose your friends wisely as you are a product of your environment.
Learn to be alone. It’s a skill few master.
Educate yourself- Read. Read. Read.
Be healthy and look after your body.
Don’t wait for someone to love you; learn to love yourself.
You’ll be okay!

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You are on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…

Dr. Seuss (Oh! The Places You’ll Go)

We need to accept that we won’t always make the right decisions, that we’ll screw up royally sometimes – understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.

Arianna Huffington

Leaving the place you grew up can change your life. Don’t think you’re leaving your family and friends behind; you’re not. You’re just letting yourself grow and move forward, and that is okay. You are allowed to grow and become a new version of you.

Sylvester McNutt III

Women are not rehabilitation centres for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix him, change him, parent him or raise him. You want a Partner not a Project.

Julia Roberts

But who can say what’s best?
That’s why you need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. My experience tells me that we get two or three such chances in a lifetime, and if we let them go, we regret it for he rest of our lives.

Haruki Murakami

FOOTNOTE: I can’t get over the fact that we are TWO!!
Thank you for all the love and response. Thank you for always coming back and choosing to spend your time here!

Curved Balls

Every year is new and different. But this one has been a landmark.

Have you ever woken up and felt like it was a good… no great day?
The sun is shining just the right amount. Your eyes open just a moment before your alarm was supposed to go off. You feel no ounces of laziness but just energy coursing through your body. You feel invincible on such days. Like you skin is flawless, you have a good hair day and that little smile refuses to leave your lips, come what may!

At the cost of sounding dramatic and eccentric at the same time, here’s what I want to share!

I woke up one morning in the rosiest of moods with the realisation that The Hazy Whisperer is soon turning TWO!
There had been no specific prompters. No peeking at the calendar (Yes, I’ve marked the date when it began). And no conversations about my course of action for it. But just a realisation…. guess the sub-conscious does have its own mysterious ways of playing with me.
What was next?!
Like an involuntary reaction to this thought, my mind just started rolling back and counting all the things that the last year comprises of. As if almost by instinct I was sure of one thing- I have a lot to be grateful for!

This year began with me meeting that one person I’m to spend the rest of my life with. Even since the journey has been of exploring, learning, understanding and pushing myself!
There were additions to Safarnama- a trip with the Girl Gang and a memoir to my time in Manali. A lot of stuff that I read was shared because it moved me some way or the other.
THW tried Collaborations. While being informative the idea behind it was to also empower, and we did that by Celebrating Women!
(PS do let me know if you’d like me to consider more of these through the comments below)

The year did see me slacking on the writing end. But I had my plate full. I was changing from going for shows alone to blushing in someone’s presence and re-imagining my life next to an actual human. I do apologise for the inconsistency I’ve shown, but want to thank each one of you for still sticking around. We have grown, statistically too!

1,500+

Viewers

30+

Countries

25+

Posts

I was honestly quite disheartened when I actually began to type this one, but once I saw the stats for the year that has just gone by I knew I am lucky and thankful!

Through the past year I realised how much Baba means to me and also how his love for story telling isn’t just about stories. It is his way of sharing little anecdotes from life and lessons with me. Baba, you are my guiding force.

I also shared some of the skin remedies that I swear by and was over-whelmed with the kind of response you guys showed me. And just FYI, those remedies are something I went with when prepping my skin for the D-Day as well! SO do not take them lightly. They are amazing!!

This year I’ve found myself noticing the little details about the ones around me. In the Indian system, getting married means re-rooting yourself. This change can sometimes feel as drastic as having to sometimes explore oneself all over again and understand what you stand for and what your priorities are.
In a scenario not as extreme, I am fortunate to have found a mother who is more than willing to make me feel at home by even trying to fuse the systems of my old home with the new one. A husband who makes it his mission to make me feel happy and comfortable. I’ve found a family that constantly tries to know what makes me happy. Thank you!

Early in my married life I experienced a Long Distance due to the lockdown in lieu of this Pandemic. After struggling with it and receiving a lot of ideas and inputs did I share quick tricks to make it a little less sufferable. I hoped to help anyone and everyone who needed it. The times are tough on everyone in their own unique way!

With all the changes and growing that have come my way this year, the one post that remains closest to my heart and took great strength to write was Of Myself, To Myself. I have never let my guard down the way I did then. I felt vulnerable and yet the senses of being liberated was all-consuming. Thank you for the support and love you have garnered over me!

… and here we are, a year after coming a full circle.

THW turns
2!

Today is a big milestone for The Hazy Whisperer- we are celebrating two years of living, growing and loving. This year has been about the little big things that have come and gone; ergo the title 😉

Monsoon Mania

Self Realisation: The arrival of monsoon doesn’t just effect my wardrobe but also the way my body needs to be taken care of!!

Hello people!
How have you been holding up? You know, in addition to the pandemic frenzy we are now in the flu season *sigh*.
While jumping around in puddles and eating those hot coal toasted corncobs are some of my favourite things in this world, along with how the rains amplify the experience of a warm bowl of maggie. Or just how staying snuggled in bed on a sunday morning, under a layer of comforter with your favourite cuppa to the view of the trickling drops staining your windows. Or just taking a cute romantic walk tucked under an umbrella while watching the world around me press pause and change tones.

So after a Vitamin-C rich couple of months and hogging onto those raw salads, I realised that coming of monsoon doesn’t just effect my wardrobe but also the way my body needs to be taken care of.

Here are some simple and necessary tips that could save all of us a lot of unnecessary hassles.

  • Say NO to leftovers
    Not just the ones from the previous day, but say no to leftovers from the same morning as well. Always keep your food covered and in the refrigerators, not on the table or platform. Leftovers raise histamine levels in food, making them cause allergic reactions.
  • WARM WATER- all day, everyday!
    Warm or hot water is ideal for consumption. Cold water can lead to congestion of lymphatic system making you susceptible to infections. This also improves digestion; which is already quite sensitive during this season.
  • BREAKFAST IS A WONDER
    A warm breakfast can do you wonders. That’s right!
    A good option would be a millet porridge with some nut butter. Boiled or roasted sweet potatoes, a vegetable induced flattened brown rice or poha are some options. Also, adding Indian spices could help fire up that digestive juices.
  • Monsoons also mean a greatly increased chance of gut infections and usually the biggest culprits are dairy based products. NO DAIRY- they are very heavy to digest during the monsoon. Or if you cannot quit it altogether, you should consume yoghurt, curd and almonds instead of milk.
  • PICK FRUITS
    Consume lemon, limes, cherries, pomegranate, apples which are more astringent and reduce the monsoon’s impact on your body. Mangoes, watermelon and muskmelons need to be avoided.
  • TEA IT IN
    In two cups of water boil some ginger, a tablespoon each of coriander seeds, fennel seeds, cumin seeds and fenugreek seeds in two cups of water. Reduce the quantity to one cup. Strain and consume with your meal.
  • Adding spices such as ginger, coriander, cumin, garlic, turmeric, fennel and asafetida (ajwain) makes the food flavourful and save you from the unexpected stomach aches and discomforts.
  • KEEP IT LEAN
    For the non-vegetarians and meat lovers, lean meats like some free-range eggs and freshwater fish for breakfast or lunch. Keep away from heavier animal proteins which are harder to digest, unless combined with spices that fire up digestion. You can use boiled ginger tea to your meals as a digestive support.
  • GO LOW ON SALTS
    Medium to low salt food is highly advisable. Avoid heavy salty food as it causes high blood pressure and water retention.
  • DRY OVER WET
    Watery foods like watermelon, rice, lassi and muskmelon creates swelling in the body. So, opt for foods like corn, gram flour, chick pea etc., which are drying in nature. The best foods on could have during monsoons are brown rice, oats, and barley.
  • BOILED Everything
    Opt for par boiled or boiled vegetable salads instead of raw vegetables in your salads as they contain active bacteria and virus which could lead to infections of either or both the natures!

Let’s talk about skin!
1. Wash your face twice a day with cold water
2. Use less makeup as pores could get clogged
3. Use water/gel based creams
4. Use homemade face packs and peels with natural ingredients
5. Apply a thin layer of sunscreen

These are some of the facts I could accumulate for all of us.
Please do share any tips that you know and I’ve missed out on. Also, do share if you are already following the things that I’ve mentioned above.

SOIRÉE 2.0

I’ve put together a quick list of songs that I can’t do without!
What’s yours?

In SOIRÉE I had shared a bunch of my favourite songs and told you why each one of them holds a special place.
Today I’ve decided to make yet another list.

This time its a list of songs that somehow never go wrong with me. I can sing along to them and also let of some steam while singing them out LOUD!
I’ve hardly ever skipped them when they play and have always found them to be versatile enough to get along with all my moods.


This is a bunch of songs on the top of my head. Would love to hear your list as well!
Please share your picks in comments 🙂


ALSO, did you notice?
We now have a LOGO!!!
Its later but better than never, right? 😉

Life, right now

Because the universe is showing us that it holds all the cards, once again

I am not better than you because of my religion, colour, culture, education, status, wealth, etc.
I am not, and neither are you.
I must accept, and so should you, that there are differences between us that we were born into.
Why do we focus on these differences?
Put your hand in mine and let us accept that our differences should not come in the way of us uniting for the basic human values that we share: compassion, peacefulness, respect, honesty, innocence, humbleness and sympathy.
Does a baby born here smile differently from a baby born anywhere else in the world?
Do they cry any differently?
We may not speak the same language and we may not live the same lifestyles, but a smile I put on my face when I see you puts a smile on your face before you can even think of it.
NOW, THAT IS POWERFUL.
I hope that every sense of arrogance or greed in my heart is deviated to a sense of humility, so the wall of ignorance to the real issues in the world can be shattered by the common rights that I share with all of my brothers and sisters in humanity.

Najwa Zebian, ‘Mind Platter’

My Two Pennies:

These words aren’t mine, but the sentiment is the same.
I’ve borrowed the expression, but there is honesty in the thought.
I’ve said it before, I’m saying it again.
You’ve heard it multiple times, and we aren’t close to being done.
The times are hard, for all of us.
It will get worse before it begins to look better; that’s a fact.
The faster we absorb it, the smoother the sail shall be.
After all, it is a time of survival and not war.



It is a time of survival and not war.
Let us try to be considerate of the ones around us.
Let us show that we are really worthy of being at the top of the pyramid.
Let us revise our kindergarten lessons of morals and humanity.
Let us do so without malice and hidden agendas.
Let us not try to out smart anyone…
Because the universe is showing us that it holds all the cards, once again.

Manali Memoir

“TRAVEL MAKES ONE MODEST, YOU SEE WHAT A TINY PLACE YOU OCCUPY IN THE WORLD.” ~ GUSTAVE FLAUBERT

Summer 2018,
… it had been a year since I’d moved back in with my family after spending two years away for a Masters programme. While I’d grown up in that house and lived with everyone for almost two and a half decades, but these two years seemed to have helped me grow in more ways than one.
So, behaving like a typical early adult- lacking patience and full of fire coupled with self assurance; I booked my seat on a week long get away that promised an absolute disconnect from the society and its hum-drum. With two friends accompanying me and about ten strangers to be befriended, I packed my rucksack for a taste of the mountains during the scorching heat.

Disclaimer: I’m not about to share the itinerary, but I plan to take you through what those seven days continue mean to me.

What started with an over night bus journey of dead silence and quiet observation of one another was about to turn into a week that I will continue to remember with great fondness for more reason than one. Stationed at a pit-stop the next morning to stretch our stiff muscles, freshen up and meet our local organisers… the first day began. I do not have a chronological memory of each day but a lot of small stories and some large eventual impacts on myself (of which I was unaware back then) that come rushing to my mind at this point.
So a chilly shower followed by an ice-breaking breakfast session accompanied by some of the most joyful dogs, did we get to know about the first place we were to hike to and stay camped for two nights…. oh wait, I promised no Itinerary! In which case, let’s keep it crisp, we had three different places where we stayed over the week, each of which is kept so pure and un-touched that one has to fall in love with them.

The more I got to know about the Mountaineerz – the company involved in organising this getaway, the more assured I felt that this is exactly what I needed. A couple from the metropolitans who packed their bags and started calling the mountains their home. They promise only what they can provide- an experience that encompasses the quiet and the wild, the divine, the exotic and the spiritual.
Imagine sitting in a clearing, amidst mountains. The sky wearing the darkest of blues and little lights scattered up above. A large ball of light helping you see your surroundings. No boundaries, no walls. Just the background music of water flowing and soothing you just the way a lullaby from your mother does. A blaring flame as if marking the epicentre of your group- keeping us together and keeping us warm. Then new but now familiar voices breaking into songs in different languages and all of them failing to feel strange.
Or… or just imagine being unloaded from your cars and after a hot-cuppa-in-the-cold-hills sort of tea, being asked to hop onto an open top light utility vehicle to make an up-hill journey into a quiet, almost self-sufficient and progressive village. A village I’v found difficulty in locating through google maps. Living in the home of the then Sarpanch, whose father-in-law had also served the community in the past. Jumping into cold water pools formed by the rivers in the mountain ranges and drying ourselves under the sun while just lying in abandoned meadows. Taking a walk around this simple and hardworking village with the Sarpanch’s husband, who seemed more than happy and proud being the home maker. Advocating women’s education and equal rights for them, he had me in absolute awe.
Waking up pre-dawn and wandering the village to find the right spot to immerse ourselves in the experience of watching the sun hop out from between the mountains, just like the drawings we all made as kids. Freshening up each morning using ice cold water. Re-filling our water supplies from the river and fetching wild ferns and mushrooms for our next meal, and learning to find the right kind of wood for our bonfire ritual. Learning about the traditions of the land while savouring the home cooked ‘siddu‘ and trout.

It was this trip and a friends I made and the time that I spent with myself that I’ll always be grateful for, when thinking about my writing and the beginning of blogging. One morning while I sat by myself on a plank at a certain height, just taking in the beauty around me that I felt the urge to write my thoughts down. In that quietness my mind was dropping deafening beats and a few scribbled words proved to be the only medium of noise cancellation. A few brief sentences down, I knew this was about to be a few pages. And a constant nagging by the newly acquainted co-traveller, our organiser and my now valued friend, had me convinced to let him in on the pages. The next thing I know he fed me the idea of making writing a regular process and soon creating the page.
It is funny to think that I had been so unsure and intimidated by this confidence that I told him that I’m going to give this project just six months of time and then quit. And today, it helps me get in touch with myself and sometimes even acknowledge my own thoughts.


By no means is this a promotional post, just me reminiscing in the memories of one of the best getaway I’ve ever had. It wouldn’t have been possible without the team that made it happen, hence the acknowledgement of Mountaineerz and Wandermile. Thank you for giving me a memory of a lifetime.
Let me introduce you to a popular Himachali folk song that I heard during the trip: Himachali Song that has stuck with me. Hope you enjoy it too!

All Is Life

Hold on, in times of pain and strife:
Until death comes, All Is Life.
-Ruskin Bond

Whether by accident or by design,
We are here.
Let’s make the most of it, my friend.
Make happiness or pursuit,
Spread a little sunshine here and there.
Enjoy the flowers, the breeze,
Rivers, sea, and sky.
Mountains and tall waving trees.
Greet the children passing by,
Talk to the old folk. Be kind, my friend.
Hold on, in times of pain and strife:
Until death comes, all is life.

Ruskin Bond

My apologies.
Apologies for all the non-relatable yet tempting optimistic content that we are having to binge over social media.
In times when the motivation to get out of bed or to create a to-do list seems beyond lost,
enjoying each moment is a myth.
Kudos to each and every soul out there that has been keeping the spirits up and have managed to create a routine and find sense in these pandemic times.

Some of us have been exploring cooking, while the others have been baking their hearts out.
Some are discovering the art of reading, some have been educating themselves with online courses.
Some of us have taken to workout challenges, some are being pro cleaners and organisers.
Some are taking to art and some have been binge watching series and movies.
Some are always available for that 3am online games, while some are catching up on all that lost sleep.
Some of us are allowing ourselves the unusual slip on routine and responsibility.
Some of us are pushing ourselves to create a routine for the future.
Some are growing a kitchen garden, some are now making their own cloth bags and masks.
Some are catching up with their families and friends.
Some are taking in the much needed break from work and society like a pill of meditation.

While all these things sound like the actions of composed minds in these times of strife and distress.
But believe me when I say,
It isn’t easy for anyone.
Families have been separated.
Relationships are going sour.
Truth is being spoken.
Corners are being cut.
Gender equality and roles are being put to test.
Stomachs are going hungry.
Birds are let thirsty.

That hot morning tea is turning cold in order to put food on the table.
That office desk is catching dust, and there is an itch to call and ask for the dues.
That need to enjoy summer evenings with friends is stronger now than ever before.

Everyone needs a break;
A break from this enforced break.
Suddenly the phrase, “Excess of anything is bad” is relatable.

But guys, hang in there.
Remember, this year is about surviving- no matter what your New Years’ resolution was.
We need to survive- physically, emotionally, financially.
So hang in there and be kind
Because “Until Death Comes, All Is Life”


To the ones asking and enquiring about my long distance lockdown, thank you so much!
You guys are absolutely beautiful.
I’m back to my marital home. Back to Mr Husband. And Very Happy!

Of Weakness and Strength

“What is it, love?”
“Does changing so easily make me a weaker person, Baba?
And Baba responded with…

As the summer soarer higher with its glittering, perspiration inducing heat, I rested my head in Baba’s lap. Spread out in the verandah of the house that I grew up in, we enjoyed the silence with the now warm marble flooring and refreshingly cold glass of buttermilk.
Staring into the distance Baba was lost in thought, I knew by the nature in which he stroked my hair. His face emotionless and eyes set on something far far away. Humming a tune yet to be discovered, my thoughts hopped from one topic to another like a frog in monsoons. My eyes followed every bird that crossed my sky and trying to memorise the colour of every flower that grows in the aangan of my maternal home.

Suddenly feeling like I was missing out even thought I feel nothing but contentment at my marital home. And Baba just knew, don’t know how, that my thoughts were moving in directions unpleasant. He stopped stroking my hair, touched my cheek and asked “What is it, love?”

My response that came ahead was like a wild waterfall of words…, “I’m happy. But why do i still feel like I’m missing out? Don’t worry yourself, I’m actually quite content. But on somedays, I feel confused. It could be that I’m over thinking it or maybe I should give myself sometime. It hasn’t even been six months since moved. But it is just that, somedays I feel like I’m letting go of some parts of me that I’ve spend my young adult life working on. Not that it upsets me, in a twisted fashion it brings me joy. There are days when we realise that we have differing opinions on certain areas. We patiently hear each other out. But then I notice that he has changed himself to be in sync with my point of view. I seen myself change too. But I’ve found myself feeling guilty that I’m making him change or am changing myself. Is it fair to do that? Also, does changing so easily make me a weaker person? Does growing in love with someone do this to a person?”

By this point I realised that not only am I breathless, but also sitting up straight while facing Baba in a crossed leg posture. No idea when my body went through all this movement, but all my attention was on Baba’s face trying to gauge his every movement and expression. He slightly moved his lips into a smile and looked at my face gently, as if caressing it with his eyes.

He started to talk after what felt like a deep discussion with himself. “Love, your mother and I brought you up to be an individual, independent thinker. Give yourself the credit that when you decide to change, no matter how significant or insignificantly, it’s because you see some sense in his way of thinking. And because you agree with what he has to say on the same… Similarly, you have married a man of strength and character. If he decides to change and be more in sync with your viewpoint, what’s so bothersome? Do you not think that you could provide him a better alternative to the same situation? And do not be stingy in giving him the credit of being a responsible individual who has a head over his shoulder! Maybe, he decided to adapt and change because he found sense in what you spoke. It also shows that he cares for you and respects you.”

Lifting his buttermilk and cleaning the droplets that had formed on the glass with a swift motion, it felt like he was visually clearing the little doubt-droplets that has formed in my mind. He sipped onto it slowly, enjoying each passing second; as if he could hear the thought slow down in my head and was watching understanding settle in like the dust after a storm. After finishing his glass, he looked into my eyes, as if claiming my attention and said,
“As for feeling weak… I only see strength in this equation. Both of you are showing strength by letting someone in and allowing them to change you instead of being defensive. You are both acknowledging each others’ opinions and accepting the alternative by admitting that the other’s point of view is better than your own. If anything, I only see you growing stronger by accepting change while also making sure that you have shared your thoughts about the topic. No idea why you’d feel guilty about any of it?!”

And just like that we resumed our gazing into the nature, spread out on the warmed up marble floor. But this time I wasn’t chasing birds and flowers, but just allowing them to enter and leave my line of vision in their own time. Before I knew it I was gently woken up from a relaxing nap that I didn’t know I had indulged in…


While this isn’t an actual conversation that I’ve had with Baba, but one that I had with a dear friend- #cowsonsteroids is how we address ourselves. Keeping the Baba series of story telling going only felt apt. Do share and comment with feedback on my skills of story telling and whether you’d me to continue story telling or explore any other styles of writing.
Thank you!!

Long Distance Lockdown

Surviving a long distance as a newly wed by experimenting with some ideas.
cute-to-weird-to-awkward-to-crazy-to-plain stupid
That’s us!

Hello folks!
I’ve been meaning to use this time of lockdown to my benefit.
To a large extent I’ve been doing things that I otherwise do not get the chance to.
But with writing, let’s just say it’s a different ball game. I have at least five new ideas each day, but my ability to actually work on it and produce anything of quality is directly dependent on my mental state. And to speak honestly, my mental state is that of someone who is quite lost.


You ask why?
For starters, I was visiting my mum’s house when the lockdown was imposed by our Government.
What’s so bad about living in my family house?
Nothing! Absolutely nothing.
Then?
Well, I got married last November, which is like four months ago.
And what was supposed to be a two week visit has turned into an indefinite stay; an indefinite long distance.
Like, Really?!
Umm, yeah! We were just getting to know each other.
Didn’t you know him before you agreed to marry him?
It is an arranged marriage. Of course I now care for him dearly. Also, no matter how well you know someone, I think, you only fully learn about a person when you live with them.

This has pretty much been the conversation that I’ve had in my head, and also the 100 and one things that I try to explain to myself about how its a global crisis and I cannot be so selfish.
That we live in the 21st century where technology works beautifully to reduce the physical distances, etc etc etc…

Hence the “Long Distance Lockdown”


After a lot of nights of: ‘I Hate This’, ‘I Miss You’, ‘Why Us?’, we have managed to come up with some simple yet effective ways to not feel so distant and also help get to know each other.
Someone once said that ‘the best way to get to know someone is to be around them during unfavourable situations’, to something like that 😉

So get ready to rad some of the things that we’ve been experimenting with; ranging from cute-to-weird-to-awkward-to-crazy-to-plain stupid on somedays. No matter how these sound, they’ve worked pretty well so far!

Movie Dates!
Living in the times of Netlix Party, Video Calls and Screen Sharing watching a move together is just a matter of creativity and willingness. We select a movie and watch it (without intermission) in the comfort of our bedroom with snacks.
And we also continue to talk during the movie the way we would if we were in the cinemas.

Candle Light Dinners
Pick a time and day
Set up your dinner along with good wifi
Create the ambience that you wish for- candles, music, fragrance
Dress up
Click the video call button!
One can never be too old for a dinner date and its the best way to make them and yourself feel special. It takes effort but why not?

Online Games
There is a plethora of options available today. Our favourites have been Scrabble Go and Ludo King, currently. (because I don’t know how to play anything else) 😛
There is of course, COD PubG and the likes of it too!

Sudoku Competition
It is exciting to be competitive but in a fun way!
So we share the sudoku that with each other and then start solving it at the same time and maintain score. It is actually fun teasing each other over speed and accuracy 😉

100 Questions
The web provides plenty of these lists. We picked questions that we liked from different platforms (two hours used) and then keep going back to them with 10 questions at a time and continue to be surprised by one another.
These range from childhood to teenage, from emotional to spiritual, from aspirations to dreams, from future plans to goals, from personal experiences to deeper darker secrets.
If you are doing this then you surely are in for a whirlwind.
Some like to get you started: here, here, here, here,

Origami
It’s a fun paper folding art. And what better than being creative and learning something new with your partner?
Make flowers for one another or fly swans and butterflies or just make hearts.

We never miss saying the things that we did everyday.
It is the simple Good Morning and Have a Great Day
How was lunch?
What plans for the day?
How was your day?
…. they are simple and can sound silly but they just make us feel a little more in touch.

Surprise Letters
We leave emails for one another at random times.
They are like little appreciation, gratitude and love notes.
These always put a smile on my face and make my day!

Planning Our Next Vacay/ Getaway
We talk about where all each one of us has already travel do and the places we want to visit soon.
The places that he/I wish to revisit, but the time with one another.
We look up and talk about the things and activities we want to do at specific places and the food we want to try together.

Learn To Cook
Depending on cravings and availability of ration, we find recipes to help each other.
Or just learn to cook something that your partner really likes?

TALK
Somedays there is no activity planned and nor is there any inkling to come up with one. On such days, we just talk. We talk about our day, we talk about the first five things each one of us wants to do individual and together as soon as the lockdown is lifted. We plan our agenda list based on priority and probability for the time when the lockdown is lifted.

Co-ordinated Workouts
We have been meaning to do this and will do it soon enough.
Pick a workout routine online and start it at the same time and doit together over a video call. It sounds quite satisfying to us (but we are just lazy).

Self Care
From full body stretches to face masks and a self mani-pedi evening while you chitchat with one another is also great way to pamper yourself and spend time together.
Everyone deserves it!


The times are hard.
The world is going through a crisis and the best way to do our bit is to Stay Home, Stay Safe.
It is mentally stressful and emotionally draining to be in times like these and it is okay if you just do not feel unto anything on somedays. If you just want to stay in bed and are not excited about anything on certain days. Being over-whelmed is alright.
But it is our personal responsibility to not let ourselves get stuck in the cycle where there are no good days.
Please do little things for yourself and your loved ones. Make the most of your time together. And if apart, try to find ways to spend time together, virtually!

If you have other suggestions and ideas that you think could help us, please do share!
And for the ones staying apart, start making your lists and create some quality time with your loved ones in this pandemic!