Sorry, Cannot Be Sorry About This

“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself–and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to–letting a person be what he really is.”

-Jim Morrison

Over the years there have been things I’ve been sorry about. Things that had nothing to do with be. Actually these are things, in retrospect, that have massaged the other person’s ego and deflated my sense of self quite effectively.

So here goes a list of things that I’m developing a thick skin about. A “Sorry, Cannot Be Sorry About This” attitude; which frankly is well deserved by both the parties involved.

  1. TAKING TIME
    Sorry, Cannot be Sorry About This!
    I cannot be sorry for taking time. Time to heal, time to recuperate, time to process my emotions or just the time to move on from something that punctured my heart.
  2. STANDING UP
    Standing up for myself, for something that I believe, for something that matters to me, for something that is my basic fundamental right, for someone who needs it.
    Sorry, Cannot Be Sorry About This.
  3. NOT RECIPROCATING YOUR FEELINGS
    Sorry, I’m not supposed to mirror your feelings. Sorry, cannot be sorry about this either.
    I am going to be respectful of your feelings and emotions about me and/ or everything else, but I don’t need to reciprocate them. So there is no point feeling guilty for being respectfully uninvolved or available.
  4. TAKING A BREAK
    Every time people, places and situations get overwhelming or just plain exhausting, I am going to take a break. Be it friendships, romantic relationships, family bonds, work relationships- my sanity is an eminent factor in determining the health of my relationships.
    And Sorry Cannot Be Sorry About This!
  5. NOT BEING THERE
    Occasionally, not picking up calls, reverting to texts and emails is acceptable.
    Sorry, Cannot Be Sorry About This. Sometimes I just do not have the energy, mindset or the attitude for it. Either way, I am not letting anyone down.

Working On My Block

Being a homemaker is tough.
And it’s tougher on my writing as I’ve created multiple blocks for myself.

Hello there!
How have you been?

No, like how have you really been?
How are you dealing with the big and the little things that are happening around you?
How are your comfortable relationships faring and have you made peace or progress with the strained ones?
And most importantly, how is your relationship with yourself at the moment?

Yeah.. I just asked you all a lot of questions. Questions that I wish we all ask our near and dear ones, every once in a while, only because we too would love to have an audience when answering the same.

In the last six months I’ve had a nagging feeling about being a part of a routine. Not that routines are bad, but I felt I was inside a box with an array of tasks that kept me occupied in a methodical manner.
I miss having new experiences and exposure through people and their experiences!

Being a homemaker is tough.

Hence, finding my current working tough only made thinking tougher and writing even more so. In retrospect, I’ve been having new experiences and learning new things. But thanks to the over glorification of being a working woman, I consciously marginalised myself. This marginalisation of my experiences and learnings created a block for me. A confidence block, that I didn’t have anything new to offer- same old same old. An identity block, that no one wants to hear a bored housewife’s rant. A mental block, that I was wasting my passion and years of education.

That’s three blocks. Three times the self-inflicted pressure to do better. And three times the frustration.
And oddly but not surprisingly enough, all the three blocks led to one. A Writer’s Block.

the condition of being unable to think of what to write or how to proceed with writing

Dictionary definition of Writer’s Block

I’ve been struggling with dealing with my block in my own. Sometimes by bing self deprecating and sometimes by being in denial. It’s simple, isn’t it?
Okay, no kidding, it was a vicious circle of the two. Not Healthy.

To my fortune and luck, I’ve been blessed with some of the best audience who seem to believe in my skills and ability more than I do sometimes. And thank you, each one of you, for being there for me. I’ve had some of you come up to me make me realise something very important.

And that important thing is Perspective. Perspective is everything. And I seemed to have forgotten it. In my block, I forgot that even though I was going through something that is common with a lot of other people, I still have a perspective.
Whether working or stay-at-home, we all have a lot of things in common. We are all still juggling things, tasks and most importantly relationships. And I still do have a perspective that i can write about.

While my block isn’t un-blocked. But I have definitely found a new approach of dealing with it. Let’s hope it helps me make a progress and hope that along the way we create a space to help one another going through the same.

Until then, hold tight and keep that love in your heart alive.

Essential Summer Saviours

The soaring temperature has had me flipping day and night to a point my husband wishes I had an assistant with whom he could check on my mood before approaching me, true story!

Hello there!
I’ve taken my sweet time to get back to this space and I’m glad to be back tapping at my keyboard and letting my thoughts flow. I hope you’ve looked forward to reading me just as much, if not more, as I have waited to write to you.

The world has been heating up over the years and India seems to be lapping up heat wave upon heat wave. The soaring temperature has had me flipping day and night to a point my husband wishes I had an assistant with whom he could check on my mood before approaching me, true story!

On the not-so-contrary, I wish I could walk around with a personal air conditioner in my pocket which ducted across y body and over my scalp so I could get away from the feeling of being bathed in sweat all the time. Or maybe, only if, the heat took away some fat from me instead of just sucking the energy and water out of me. I mean, right, why not?!

So…. So to get away from this ever prevailing and presiding attitude of annoyance I tried and tested things to create an Essential Summer Survivors list!

DISCLAIMER 
(using teleprompter voice while reading this)
All items, tricks and things are a creation to serve my needs (need for survival). Anything that helps you too is a welcome mention in the comments and anything that stands against your systems is also welcome in the comments. But remember to keep it a mutually supportive system because remember its summer and its already hard for most of us.

Here’s comes my Essential Summer Survivor kit includes

  • HYDRATE
    As often as we hear it and no matter how well we know it, hydrating is the most important ingredient for surviving summers and the heat. Making sure that I consume a good 3 litres of water is usually a task as using an app for it every time isn’t exactly my thing. So I just got myself a nice glass bottle and keep it on myself all the time. Even when I move from one room to another its always at hand.*
  • CURD & YOGURT
    This is a key element to me summer saviours list. Due to my stomachs sensitivity to curd, I usually prefer it in diluted form. At the end of my breakfast and lunch I consume a glass of freshly made butter milk, salted or sweet depending on what I prefer at the time. It also helps settle down the spices consumer hence saving me the acid reflux on days when I consume something very spicy and is great for digestions as well.
    Note: It’s a great practice to follow year round.
  • WHEN LIFE THROWS LEMONS
    It’s true, but I collect them all for the summers. An essential summer survival item is lemonade or lemon soda/ virgin mojito is I’m feeling fancy.
    But a glass of freshly made lemonade is as close to heaven as I’ve gotten in the summers.
  • FRUITS & SALADS
    Since all fruits and most vegetable are packed with water along with other essentials, I find it a great way to snack and hydrate at the same time. As a snack between meals or just for a light meal, I find a bowl of a whole fruit or vegetable salad with a basic vinaigrette dressing really handy. Also, I’m more of a whole fruit person more than a juice person since I find the fibre and chewing really satisfying.
  • ALL THINGS COLD
    As tempting as it is to consume something loaded with ice or super chilled, I am not used to it and quickly end up with a soar throat to runny nose. So I try to have things that are at room temperature or slightly cooler instead of heat to hot food and beverages. Like instead of a hot Americano I prefer it with cold water or just water that stayed in an earthen pot or matka instead of directly from the
  • EYE HYDRANTS
    I experience burning eyes or dry eyes quite frequently doing the summers when compared to the rest of the year. So I prefer keeping eye hydrating drops handy (nothing specific, just off the counter stuff).
  • BATH WATER TRICK
    As the temperature rises I prefer a drop in my bathing water. It could be absolutely psychological, I don’t know, but I feel that If I take a cold water bath my body temperature for some time is lowered helping my feel better. On the contrary, I feel that a hot water bath will just up the body temperature even more and refuse me any respite from feeling warm and sweaty.
    Especially a cold bath before bed is a blessing like no other.
    *Try adding a slice of lemon to your water bucket, it leaves you feeling fresh and lemony (do not use the lemon water on your hair)
  • ICING ON THE FACE
    Picked up from one of the late 90s or early 00s advertisement of a summer drink, I began to ice my face at home and fell in love with it almost instantly. I just pop a couple cubes in a bowl and send in front of the mirror for a dew minutes; just gently applying the ice all over my face and neck.
  • COLOURS & FABRICS
    A large part of being comfortable during the day also includes what we choose to wear. I stick to comfort fitted clothes in lighter and neutral tones. Just breezy outfits that help me breath better, linens and cottons are my go to choices.
  • SUNBLOCK
    There is not a single day in the year that I start my day without applying a nice neat layer of sunblock on my face neck and arms. A routine as simple as this can take you a long way. Immaterial of gender and age, it should be a must on every one’s routine. But of course, I do not apply it in the early morning hours when the sun is not so harsh as some exposure to the sun is also essential.

This pretty much sums up everything I try to do as an Essential Summer Saviour for myself and the ones around me. What do you think?
Do you also have little things that you swear by during this weather, if yes, then do share! 

*Glass Water Containers that I personally love currently:

8 Things No One Told Me About Being Married

Don’t ever stop dating your wife and don’t ever stop flirting with your husband.

“A successful marriage
requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.”

As I started to close in on my mid-twentites, I knew marriage was right around the corner. It was a definitive; just a matter of when, where and to whom. Not having have found a partner myself, it was certain that my family would find me a match, fortunately the decision would be mine.

I was, however, mentally prepared for it. Like I said, it was only a matter of when, where and to whom I’d me marrying. But I knew that it was going to happen and had made peace with my early adolescent spirit that had a skewed sense of feminism wrapped in a fairytale bubble (you can only imagine how messed up and confusing that can be) .

Right up until I got married and moved into my husband’s home with his family that was now becoming mine, I didn’t realise that all my education and exposure had not managed to protected me from having preconceived notions about what it means to be a married woman and a daughter-in-law… imagine my surprise!

Through household chatter, experiences of my family members, media and popular tales I had sub-consciously gathered and consolidated data on what it means to be a married woman. I had created a mood board of sorts which was painted by putting woman and their struggles on a pedestal and normalising the negativity that came with it. I knew I was suddenly going to be an adult with responsibilities and unspoken/ declared duties and expectations. I knew for myself that being a married woman there would be a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law angle, the Bermuda triangle between the mother son and myself, etcetera.

After being married for almost two years and starting a new journey along side with the on going pandemic here are the things I’ve come to experience and realise that I wish someone had told me but no one told me about being a married woman.

1. It begins at the end of “Happily Ever After”
..”Yes, I do”…. “Yes, I do”… And they lived happily ever after!
It is after this that a marriage truly begins. I do not know what I’ll feel in retrospect after having have lived my life, but I now know that the meaning is to make the most of it, the best of it and hope you can look back and say that “.. and then we lived happily ever after”. Marriage is like playing with lego, you imagine, aspire, create and hope you’ve gotten it right.

2. It helps you discover yourself
There is so much I’ve realised that I never knew about myself. There are times that I surprise myself. It could be about things that you are protective of and things that you are accommodating about. It could be your new found level of patience and ability to persevere. It could be about how accommodating you truly can be and the strength to stand up for yourself in ways you never thought you could. And sometimes it’s about finding out that being vulnerable and feeling safe at the same time is a possibility. I’ve had moments where I broke down for no reason at all and still knew that I’m loved and there was no judgement being thrown at me.

3. Finding your new family
The thing that sticks out to me the most is that my birth family is the family that I was born into, it has loved me since before I was born, I’ve had years to build my relationships there and create my own space. And I’ll always have a home in their hearts- which goes without saying.
But coming to my marital home- at first it felt like a house with people who occupy it. It is after all these months that I’ve realised that these are relationships that I have to nourish and build for them to mean anything in my life; because otherwise they will just remain my husband’s family.

4. I have two mothers
Here I speak for myself and I know I’ve lucked out. Marriage gave me two mothers- my birth mother will always be the one who got me into this world and taught me everything I know about life thus far. But it is my Mother-In-Law who held my hand when I stepped into a new territory and helped find my comfort zone. She is the one teaching me things going forward.
She helps me understand my partner better which in turn helps me nurture our partnership better as a wife. She asks for my opinion and shares how things have been done thus far- what better, right?

“Marriage is not a noun;
it’s a verb.
It isn’t something you get.
It’s something you do.
It’s the way you love your partner every day.”
– Barbara De Angelis

5. Marriage changes you
Many of our friends and cousins have complained that we’ve changed as individuals but I don’t say this as a bad thing.
We have both made upgrades to our behaviours and patterns in order to support each other better and stay in sync. from being two singles, we’ve gone onto becoming Mr. & Mrs- that entails changes in order to survive and grow as a unit.

6. It makes everything more serious
That’s true, suddenly the intensity of everything is heightened. Conversations about future, plans for the weekend or just as argument- everything is more serious than it has ever been before. It could also be because you know this is it- this person in front of you is it and you both want to get it right and do not want to just settle for average.

7. THERE ARE NO HIGHWAYS ANYMORE
The attitude of “it is may way or the highway” doesn’t apply anymore. I’ve realised that it is rarely about being right, but mostly about finding the best option available. I’ve found myself actively avoiding quick fixes and wanting to talk it over with partner to find a long term solution to issues.
I once read it somewhere that marriage is like weight. It is not like once you’ve achieved your ideal weight you can go about living your life, similarly once you’ve sorted something in your marriage that is not it. It has to become a lifestyle, where you constantly and proactively keep working on it.

8. IT IS THE NEXT LEVEL OF TEAM WORK
Marriage doesn’t just take work, it is hard AF.
It is an amalgamation of too many factors at once with no manual and one fits all solutions. A happy marriage is a symbiotic relationship where not only do we support one another but also become the foundation to our children and an assurance to all the others intimately connected to us.

“A husband and wife
may disagree on many things
but they must absolutely agree on this:
to never, ever give up.”

Are We Exhausted?

Emotional Exhaustion is real and we need to learn to identify it.

Hey!
And I’m back after a short break from writing (read it as lack of motivation)… It sounds pretty bad, I agree. But here’s the thing, you ought to blame the Pandemic.
I mean the kind of uncertainty and prolonged doom that this has caused and is continuing to; that’s taxing.

While I was away liking my sorrows and venting away I realised that I’m constantly exhausted. The physical exhaustion has been pretty easy. If I feel tired, I plan my day in such a way that I can get away with a power nap or a stress relieving soak.
What’s been difficult is when you’ve to adequate sleep and nutrition with not a very intense day and yet you feel worn out by the end of each day.
I mean, c’mon!
How does that even make sense??

Post a whole lot of speculation, agitated evenings, grumpy mornings and un-willing days I realised it was nothing but my emotions that were tired of keeping up with the surroundings.
Then came the BIG QUESTION: As a psychologist how could i have missed the signs myself??

Just knowing the cause of my discomfort seemed to have eased most of my nerves and filled me with an excitement to find a checklist that would help me avoid all the helplessness that had enveloped me these last few weeks.

17 SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL EXHAUSTION :

  • You find yourself focusing on the negatives
  • You put people away (isolate)
  • Your every action feels like a sacrifice
  • You feel driven by obligations not values
  • You don’t feel fulfilled
  • You don’t feel connected with who you are
  • You have a hard time controlling your behaviour
  • You feel overwhelmed and anxious
  • You have a hard time maintaining or setting boundaries
  • You often feel irritated and irrationally angry
  • You feel hopeless
  • You feel numb or apathetic
  • You lack motivation or purpose
  • Your self-identify as a failure
  • You often feel tired
  • You find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention
  • You find yourself forgetting things

This list was given by Sara Kuburic (MA, CCC).

Once I found this list I decided to make a list of ways in which I could recover from this exhaustion. While I’m sharing mine, I request you to make your own on a sunny day so that rainy days aren’t as grey!

  • Sit down with myself and acknowledge how I’m feeling (you don’t have to justify your feelings; just acknowledge them)
  • Make a quick list of 5 things that you are grateful for and feel lucky about
  • Have a list of people who always lift you up and connect with them
  • Reconnect with yourself- the things that you value and the principles that you hold closest
  • Make a list of activities that you could practice for yourself and enjoy it (cook, garden, paint, practice yoga, dance, listen to music, read a book, etc)
  • Focus on your physical well-being; adequate amount of sleep, having your meals at appropriate times, consuming unto 3 litres of water
  • Distance yourself from social media for minimum 3 days
  • Consider a massage or long bath or a session of meditation

Magical Words

A compilation of words, thoughts and teachings that have strengthen, supported and confronted me as and when I needed them.

Hello, you lovely soul!!
What I’ve put together this time is more like a compilation.
A compilation of words, thoughts and teachings that have strengthen, supported and confronted me as and when I needed them. They have contributed to my moral fabric from time to time. And trust me, each time I’ve felt myself become a better person in that moment.
As a sucker for words, these were never said by me or to me unfortunately, but nonetheless they have held my hand and taught me to smile and lightened those stiff shoulders!

“I LOVE YOU means I accept you for the person that you are and that I don’t wish to change you into someone else. It means that I don’t expect perfection from you, just as you don’t expect it from me.
I Love You means that I will Love You and stand by you even through the worst of times.
It means loving you when you are in a bad mood or too tired to do the things that I want to do.
It means loving you when you are down, not just when you are fun to be with.”

Deanne Laura Gilbert

Be Brave. Take Risks.
Nothing can substitute experience.

Paulo Coelho

I’m slowly learning that even if I react, it won’t change anything, it won’t make people love and respect me, it won’t magically change their minds. Sometimes it’s better to just let things be, let people go, don’t expect answers, don’t fight for closure, don’t chase answers and don’t expect people to understand where you’re coming from. I’m slowly learning that life is better lived when you don’t centre it on what’s happening around you and centre it on what’s happening inside you instead. Work on yourself and your inner peace.

Unknown Author

I cannot fix on an hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It was too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.

Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)

Save money every week! It doesn’t matter how much. Just Save.
Listen to your parents’ advice… at the end of the day they are only ones who want the best for you.
Choose your friends wisely as you are a product of your environment.
Learn to be alone. It’s a skill few master.
Educate yourself- Read. Read. Read.
Be healthy and look after your body.
Don’t wait for someone to love you; learn to love yourself.
You’ll be okay!

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You are on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…

Dr. Seuss (Oh! The Places You’ll Go)

We need to accept that we won’t always make the right decisions, that we’ll screw up royally sometimes – understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.

Arianna Huffington

Leaving the place you grew up can change your life. Don’t think you’re leaving your family and friends behind; you’re not. You’re just letting yourself grow and move forward, and that is okay. You are allowed to grow and become a new version of you.

Sylvester McNutt III

Women are not rehabilitation centres for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix him, change him, parent him or raise him. You want a Partner not a Project.

Julia Roberts

But who can say what’s best?
That’s why you need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. My experience tells me that we get two or three such chances in a lifetime, and if we let them go, we regret it for he rest of our lives.

Haruki Murakami

FOOTNOTE: I can’t get over the fact that we are TWO!!
Thank you for all the love and response. Thank you for always coming back and choosing to spend your time here!

Curved Balls

Every year is new and different. But this one has been a landmark.

Have you ever woken up and felt like it was a good… no great day?
The sun is shining just the right amount. Your eyes open just a moment before your alarm was supposed to go off. You feel no ounces of laziness but just energy coursing through your body. You feel invincible on such days. Like you skin is flawless, you have a good hair day and that little smile refuses to leave your lips, come what may!

At the cost of sounding dramatic and eccentric at the same time, here’s what I want to share!

I woke up one morning in the rosiest of moods with the realisation that The Hazy Whisperer is soon turning TWO!
There had been no specific prompters. No peeking at the calendar (Yes, I’ve marked the date when it began). And no conversations about my course of action for it. But just a realisation…. guess the sub-conscious does have its own mysterious ways of playing with me.
What was next?!
Like an involuntary reaction to this thought, my mind just started rolling back and counting all the things that the last year comprises of. As if almost by instinct I was sure of one thing- I have a lot to be grateful for!

This year began with me meeting that one person I’m to spend the rest of my life with. Even since the journey has been of exploring, learning, understanding and pushing myself!
There were additions to Safarnama- a trip with the Girl Gang and a memoir to my time in Manali. A lot of stuff that I read was shared because it moved me some way or the other.
THW tried Collaborations. While being informative the idea behind it was to also empower, and we did that by Celebrating Women!
(PS do let me know if you’d like me to consider more of these through the comments below)

The year did see me slacking on the writing end. But I had my plate full. I was changing from going for shows alone to blushing in someone’s presence and re-imagining my life next to an actual human. I do apologise for the inconsistency I’ve shown, but want to thank each one of you for still sticking around. We have grown, statistically too!

1,500+

Viewers

30+

Countries

25+

Posts

I was honestly quite disheartened when I actually began to type this one, but once I saw the stats for the year that has just gone by I knew I am lucky and thankful!

Through the past year I realised how much Baba means to me and also how his love for story telling isn’t just about stories. It is his way of sharing little anecdotes from life and lessons with me. Baba, you are my guiding force.

I also shared some of the skin remedies that I swear by and was over-whelmed with the kind of response you guys showed me. And just FYI, those remedies are something I went with when prepping my skin for the D-Day as well! SO do not take them lightly. They are amazing!!

This year I’ve found myself noticing the little details about the ones around me. In the Indian system, getting married means re-rooting yourself. This change can sometimes feel as drastic as having to sometimes explore oneself all over again and understand what you stand for and what your priorities are.
In a scenario not as extreme, I am fortunate to have found a mother who is more than willing to make me feel at home by even trying to fuse the systems of my old home with the new one. A husband who makes it his mission to make me feel happy and comfortable. I’ve found a family that constantly tries to know what makes me happy. Thank you!

Early in my married life I experienced a Long Distance due to the lockdown in lieu of this Pandemic. After struggling with it and receiving a lot of ideas and inputs did I share quick tricks to make it a little less sufferable. I hoped to help anyone and everyone who needed it. The times are tough on everyone in their own unique way!

With all the changes and growing that have come my way this year, the one post that remains closest to my heart and took great strength to write was Of Myself, To Myself. I have never let my guard down the way I did then. I felt vulnerable and yet the senses of being liberated was all-consuming. Thank you for the support and love you have garnered over me!

… and here we are, a year after coming a full circle.

THW turns
2!

Today is a big milestone for The Hazy Whisperer- we are celebrating two years of living, growing and loving. This year has been about the little big things that have come and gone; ergo the title 😉

Celebrating Women With Malliha

A journalist, an assistant editor and an influencer
Need we say more?

The second woman that I have chosen is

Malliha Fatima

I’ve been told that some people just have a certain energy about themselves, they almost effortlessly charm you and leave you feeling one with their high spirits. She is an enigma that dazzles in black.

She is a journalist and an influencer. As an Assistant Editor for WOW Hyderabad, she also consults with various other brands and helps with strategy. And if you’ve met her, you know she is a Shah Rukh Khan fan girl.


Tell us the story of how it all began..
“There actually is a very silly story. As an adolescent I was and
still am a huge fan of Justin Timberlake. I used to collect every
teen magazine just for him. That time I promised my self one
day I’d write for a magazine and meet him.
The story might be silly but fortunately I am in that profession.”

What keeps you going?
“What really keeps me going is the variety I come across
something new everyday. The boredom never sets in.”

What’s your take on challenges?
I think the key is to strike a balance. No matter how ambitious
a woman is there are certain responsibilities expected from you.
So try to strike a balance between work and personal life.
My core support system were my grandparents, although they
have passed on they still remain my strength.

Some thumb rules that you believe in to feel confident
in your own skin.

1.) Women burden themselves with the expectations of others.
Don’t.
2.) Keep yourself happy first, the rest will follow.
3.) Do what you love.
4.) A bit of healthy competition is fine, be comfortable with it.
5.) Learn to assert yourself.
6.) Be confident.
7.) Polite doesn’t mean weak, learn to say f-you with poise.
8.) Try to de-stress.
9.) Make time for yourself.
10.) Don’t take opinions too seriously

Styling tips that you swear by?
“My personal styling tips are-
1.)Great hair
2.) Confidence

… but if I had to give anyone else advice I would say don’t ever wear something You’re not comfortable in. You feel awkward and it shows- I notice that.”


Let’s sidestep a bit because who doesn’t love that heavenly voice that leaves wanting for more every time your listen What Goes Around.. Comes Around, Sexy Back, Mirror ; and talk about your crush on Timberlake.
Whats the status of your teenage crush?
“Its on. Always!”
If you had a chance to meet him, what would you say as an ‘ice-breaker’?
“Can’t nobody love you like I love you”..
these are the lyrics to his debut song
What would you centre your article on him around?
“His growth and his ability to adapt.
From a boy band to a pop star to a musician who can handle all genres with ease. Also, what makes him so charming.”
Okay, one last one. What would you wear to this interview?
“A classic LBD.”


How can people get in touch with you?
Instagram: @malliha_
And through email: malliha519@gmail.com
Also, there is bitterfondue

Dear Women,

“Where there is a woman, there is magic.” –Ntozake Shange

This is an open letter. This is to all the girls, each one of whom is a uniquely fascinating cocoon and will soon break out into a vibrant butterfly. This is to all the women who are currently discovering their super powers and importance in the world.

“Here’s to strong women: May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.”

There is so much out there that I couldn’t have anything more original and unique to say or share. But there are somethings that I wish for each of our beautiful souls…
May each one of us receive the love that you deserve and then some more.
May there be so much respect that the specialised need for women’s safety be eradicated.
May each one of us have the luxury to place ourselves first sometimes.
May there be enough space that we needn’t worry about being misunderstood.
May equality prevail so that we do not have to feel guilty about fairer sex privileges.
May each one of us experience acceptance on such a scale that we too learn to celebrate ourselves- in all complexions, through the stretch marks, for our shapes and sizes.
May there be no need to break through a glass ceiling because all we have is the horizon to look at.
May each one of us have the liberty to decide our own parental instincts, capacities and the lack of it, without being judged for it.
May there be more fathers, brothers, friends, boyfriends and husbands who do not attack femininity as a mainstream joke, nor do they appreciate it among their peers.
May we have the courage and support to chase our dreams and the comfort of knowing that failure isn’t ours always.
May we travel both the worlds- inside and the one around us, and thoroughly enjoy it.
May we all smile more often because we are happy, loved, cared for and cherished.


“Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress.” –Kiera Cass

“A woman is like a tea bag: You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.” –Oprah Winfrey

“Feminism isn’t about making women strong. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.” –G.D. Anderson

“There is no force more powerful than a woman determined to rise.” –W.E.B. Dubois

“Real queens fix each other’s crowns.”

Let’s celebrate us!