Surviving a long distance as a newly wed by experimenting with some ideas.
I’ve been meaning to use this time of lockdown to my benefit.
To a large extent I’ve been doing things that I otherwise do not get the chance to.
But with writing, let’s just say it’s a different ball game. I have at least five new ideas each day, but my ability to actually work on it and produce anything of quality is directly dependent on my mental state. And to speak honestly, my mental state is that of someone who is quite lost.
You ask why?
For starters, I was visiting my mum’s house when the lockdown was imposed by our Government.
What’s so bad about living in my family house?
Nothing! Absolutely nothing.
Well, I got married last November, which is like four months ago.
And what was supposed to be a two week visit has turned into an indefinite stay; an indefinite long distance.
Umm, yeah! We were just getting to know each other.
Didn’t you know him before you agreed to marry him?
It is an arranged marriage. Of course I now care for him dearly. Also, no matter how well you know someone, I think, you only fully learn about a person when you live with them.
This has pretty much been the conversation that I’ve had in my head, and also the 100 and one things that I try to explain to myself about how its a global crisis and I cannot be so selfish.
That we live in the 21st century where technology works beautifully to reduce the physical distances, etc etc etc…
Hence the “Long Distance Lockdown”
After a lot of nights of: ‘I Hate This’, ‘I Miss You’, ‘Why Us?’, we have managed to come up with some simple yet effective ways to not feel so distant and also help get to know each other.
Someone once said that ‘the best way to get to know someone is to be around them during unfavourable situations’, to something like that 😉
So get ready to rad some of the things that we’ve been experimenting with; ranging from cute-to-weird-to-awkward-to-crazy-to-plain stupid on somedays. No matter how these sound, they’ve worked pretty well so far!
Living in the times of Netlix Party, Video Calls and Screen Sharing watching a move together is just a matter of creativity and willingness. We select a movie and watch it (without intermission) in the comfort of our bedroom with snacks.
And we also continue to talk during the movie the way we would if we were in the cinemas.
Candle Light Dinners
Pick a time and day
Set up your dinner along with good wifi
Create the ambience that you wish for- candles, music, fragrance
Click the video call button!
One can never be too old for a dinner date and its the best way to make them and yourself feel special. It takes effort but why not?
There is a plethora of options available today. Our favourites have been Scrabble Go and Ludo King, currently. (because I don’t know how to play anything else) 😛
There is of course, COD PubG and the likes of it too!
It is exciting to be competitive but in a fun way!
So we share the sudoku that with each other and then start solving it at the same time and maintain score. It is actually fun teasing each other over speed and accuracy 😉
The web provides plenty of these lists. We picked questions that we liked from different platforms (two hours used) and then keep going back to them with 10 questions at a time and continue to be surprised by one another.
These range from childhood to teenage, from emotional to spiritual, from aspirations to dreams, from future plans to goals, from personal experiences to deeper darker secrets.
If you are doing this then you surely are in for a whirlwind.
Some like to get you started: here, here, here, here,
It’s a fun paper folding art. And what better than being creative and learning something new with your partner?
Make flowers for one another or fly swans and butterflies or just make hearts.
We never miss saying the things that we did everyday.
It is the simple Good Morning and Have a Great Day
How was lunch?
What plans for the day?
How was your day?
…. they are simple and can sound silly but they just make us feel a little more in touch.
We leave emails for one another at random times.
They are like little appreciation, gratitude and love notes.
These always put a smile on my face and make my day!
Planning Our Next Vacay/ Getaway
We talk about where all each one of us has already travel do and the places we want to visit soon.
The places that he/I wish to revisit, but the time with one another.
We look up and talk about the things and activities we want to do at specific places and the food we want to try together.
Learn To Cook
Depending on cravings and availability of ration, we find recipes to help each other.
Or just learn to cook something that your partner really likes?
Somedays there is no activity planned and nor is there any inkling to come up with one. On such days, we just talk. We talk about our day, we talk about the first five things each one of us wants to do individual and together as soon as the lockdown is lifted. We plan our agenda list based on priority and probability for the time when the lockdown is lifted.
We have been meaning to do this and will do it soon enough.
Pick a workout routine online and start it at the same time and doit together over a video call. It sounds quite satisfying to us (but we are just lazy).
From full body stretches to face masks and a self mani-pedi evening while you chitchat with one another is also great way to pamper yourself and spend time together.
Everyone deserves it!
The times are hard.
The world is going through a crisis and the best way to do our bit is to Stay Home, Stay Safe.
It is mentally stressful and emotionally draining to be in times like these and it is okay if you just do not feel unto anything on somedays. If you just want to stay in bed and are not excited about anything on certain days. Being over-whelmed is alright.
But it is our personal responsibility to not let ourselves get stuck in the cycle where there are no good days.
Please do little things for yourself and your loved ones. Make the most of your time together. And if apart, try to find ways to spend time together, virtually!
If you have other suggestions and ideas that you think could help us, please do share!
And for the ones staying apart, start making your lists and create some quality time with your loved ones in this pandemic!